Good things happened but today still hurts, I started to forget today how much I loved her once, as I turn 24 I see just one more day where the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with truly doesn’t exist. I don’t know if I’m healing or if I’m dying it just hurts in ways I had nearly forgotten. Two or three or four maybe even more good things happened to me today and yet I sit here and only feel the loss of her. I never wish she had died but in times like this at least the pain would make sense if she had, all I want is to love someone and all I look for is that opportunity but I get in my own way almost every time. Maybe that’s why I was so in love with her maybe because with her I didn’t get in my own way. All because she said she loved me first. In that moment well we were fighting I was blindsided and I knew she just didn’t know it when we started talking that day. For in that moment she was afraid of losing me losing the man she loved. In that moment I was that man. I’m ready to love someone again maybe I am dying but I still look for a simple reason to live. Only looking for that person to love me again.
Any Writings by Zachary S Wilson by
Zachary S Wilson is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at
university of montana western undergrad.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at
77zachwilson@gmail.com.
