Lighting in the distance

             Its been a vary long time since I have put my thoughts down on a page. ……. Well a keyboard. As normal it comes at a time wince I can’t sleep like a rock in the bosom of the rocky mountains nestled tightly away from the light worm under my covers as the world passes me by some ware else on the surface. No I can’t sleep from stress or diet or hope or passion no I can’t sleep because really I can’t just fall asleep, now that I’m married I sleep better then I have ever in my life she is the sun to my leaves the H to my 02 the gravity to my apple, “she would smile that I speeld that right. Little joke just for her.” But tonight she fell fast asleep well talking to me I don’t blame her there, there was nights not to long ago were she would fall asleep to my voice on the phone now its to hot to even hold her not that I don’t want to its simply to warm to put my arms around her. Now her being a woman this is kind of perfect she is always cold but for me it’s just too hot to handle. All the same I am awake for only the second time in my short but wonderful mirage and I felt it was time to put down a few thoughts that might be worth someone reading some day whom ever that might be…….. insert winky face I hear those are cool. But in all honesty the thing that really has me up this evening is the fact I can’t distress simply because I keep excepting new reality’s. Now that’s not a bad thing at times in your life there are just steps to the next version of yourself. The more improved faster stronger version you know the .o something and sum such. Tell you get really old then it goes backward but that’s a tangent I’ll take some other time like when I retrograde on my .0 ness. But I laid in bed this night and realized I never was the person I was leading my self to be I read a few words and saw I had changed in almost ever way on paper I could change now I am still me and I still rock at the game of life loo but wow not the same guy no more. Heavy stuff that change. Tonight it was heavier then my eyelids.

So you have now arrived at the conclusion that WOW SOMETHING MUST HAVE CHANGED. Well your very observant reader her is what has changed.

 My reason to wake up……………..

Before it was just to make it though another day and look back at my life and say that sure looked good on paper. Now I have grown up in that scents that I don’t live life for stuff or things or other people. I actually have pissed off a lot of people recently but that’s a different story for some other late night. Actually for never you don’t care about that. I have changed in that I don’t want things anymore that I don’t need now all I want is security. Now reader understand I didn’t use the word safety living life safely can mean many things to me it means not risking to gain what you can thought real effort belief and drive. I am happy to risk things for the sake of my future wellbeing. See reader that is what changed I have a future………………

And the well being of that future now means there is someone tied to it like a tetherball, to a post “ya I went old school on you there, google it if need be”. I have become the post in this life I firmly have my feet planted un wavering that I can bend but not so much that I can’t come back to my place holding everything to the center of this earth. See that is my job now to hold on to not just the ground but to keep my wife moving around me freely unimpeded letting her come back and forth as we need bending a little when the time comes but pulling against the centrifugal force know as life trying to fling her away from me.  No my job now is to everyday hold her tightly so she has something to revolve her world around with out getting shot off into the distance broken and lost.

Life got really simple really fast

I’m so thankful for that blessing I have never been happier but it comes at a cost simplicity means change and in my situation a lot tonight I have decide to embrace the change and move my happy little family forwarded with my ability to overcome the things life puts in my path.

So reader I hope you fallowed but if you didn’t don’t worry this was never for you but the person it was for will understand every word and they can see what it all really means.

You know the grand scheme; witch always starts with the smallest of things. The kind of thing you have overlooked your whole life, yup start there friend the rest comes after that.