In Gods time

We live are lives such that each day seems like it is the most important yet only as we grow older do we see the blessing of the days still yet to come for there numbers dwindle fewer and fewer. As children we feel as if the world ends when we don’t receive the gifts of simple selfishness. The toy is the wrong cooler or the meal is home cooked not ordered. We are too young to see how lucky we are that these things mean nothing no damage done moving on as if it truly never was. We suffer a different fait the first time we love someone, we feel this emotion that is conflicting southing and utterly confusing. Our fist love is the end of our child hood for some it comes early some it comes to late. Well some how the pain effects us all so differently all well only showing use are humanity feeling the same lose. Some how none ever to shake its wounds, like a fish hook caught on a part of our hearts that never gets removed tugging on the slightest of memories. Suffering the absence of their leaving use behind, that pain still real even in the golden years of our life. When the time comes when we lose someone and we learn death is a cold part of everyday of life. The feeling of someone never to be there in our lives ever again. It doses things to each of use that shape or shift our lives leading us in varying ways. Some how with that lose a small part of use gone forever in their absence, like we barrowed a part of there spirit and they took it home with them. Feeling its absence weather it’s the day they leave us or it's so far from that day that we some how almost forgot they ever were there. Some how the feeling the same realizing they will never come again, not to day or the day we go to meet with them again, they wont walk with us as they once did.

Each lesson learned not when we see fit or on terms we wish. Each lesson not tough with loving care and sympathetic arms to run too, arms where we can pore the pain into from our eyes. Not when we are children feeling as life is about to end sobbing so hard we can’t breath. Not when we are truly left alone for the first time with a heart hurting so bad we feel it braking in our chest thinking we might not make it through that first night. Not when we are touched by death for the first time no matter our age, feeling as if life is something not even real feeling its hurt. The hurt filling us so we don't feel like we once did for only minutes strung together ordays and for some even years, its hurt numbing the life that is alive in all of us.

No all these happen in Gods time, we don’t know when we are children to absorb it all so we could remember how it felt to be young and know the blissful ignorance of knowing nothing of the world, of life, or all that comes with it. No we don’t get to love are perfect partners the first time with the purest of love that we may ever possess. It’s in Gods time if we are blessed in this life to find the one, the one that completes us in ways only God could understand. We don’t know how to let what matters stay holding on like a tiger to pray, well we hold on to things that only hurt what life we so desperately crave. Dragging the pain tell we receive Gods blessing we chose to live with for the rest of are days. No we don’t get to say goodbye, it’s in Gods time when they leave us. We don’t understand how precious are life is or those we love tell their gone and we can’t have them touch are lives like they had when they where in this world. Sadly God doesn’t just give us all the gift to understand how much our life is worth and how we could live each day if we only could understand the Lords plan. Most are lost in one way or another walking the paths the Lord has laid for use to get as close as we can to seeing the gifts of this world that are already in are hands.

Life is in Gods time not ours. I wish it helped me sleep at night. Despite even those simple factssome how the thoughts of you have more power over me. I have no chose but to wait for Gods time, because every day I long to be with you my beloved DipADee. 

Any Writings by Zachary S Wilson by Zachary S Wilson is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 United States License.
Based on a work at university of montana western undergrad.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at 77zachwilson@gmail.com.