Fear

I pray for death that is dose not wait that if it is my fait that the lord simply take. The fight I fight is never won only bloody those on the path left along the way the ones that never where able to keep the ones that one could never make stay, family drug throw not by chose but by love. I fear is a life left to grind on with my fait sealed for that its price preordained to be pay in full on that fait full day, I’m ready I have nothing so I have nothing to lose those around me have a world lost if I am no longer there but its not my chose to die its only my chose to live, I fight fingers dug in grabbing for every inch never caring to where upon the fait that lay at the end one of trials and tribulations or of forgotten loves only to waste away in a memory turning tormenting as the minutes drag to the end. I pray my death is swift with a full no knowledge of. I have nothing to hold me back I have no fight to continue to live if the lord dose so chose to take me home, I only pray I be taken before I have all those to be left behind, death scares me not, not losing this body this life means nothing if I have nothing, I pray I go quietly with no one invested, my fear is to live maimed in the path of a missed opportunity for death to take me, that my living death torches’ those around me like my memories torcher me, a life of solitude is better then watching those around you suffer for your sins. My life is pain I hate that my pain spills over to all those I love especially when its my chooses bull headed stubborn and stupid that take my pain to there place of sanctuary. When love is pain it’s hard to find the where where there is much to gain only making clear how empty life is……